In college I had no idea what I wanted out of women, I only knew what I wasn’t getting. At some point a friend recommended I write down all the qualities I wanted in a girlfriend, so I did. This was probably not what he had expected. It’s funny to look back, to see how I searched for a potential life-pincushion.
A Flannery girl…
…drinks beer form a bottle.
…will sleep in a sleeping bag.
…rides roller-coasters.
…looks good in sunglasses.
…has unattached earlobes.
…has cute feet.
…has some artistic ability, but refuses to use it.
…does not enjoy the movie Grease.
…eats Taco Bell.
…is very independent, borderline arrogant.
…is able to complete a Tuesday NYT crossword puzzle.
…enjoys baseball.
…doesn’t eat at the movies.
…can only cook one great meal.
…enjoys laying in the grass without brushing herself off.
…sees the humor in Cops. (the television program).
…doesn’t read Cosmo or Glamour.
…thinks marijuana is overrated.
…doesn’t even notice the subtitles.
…drives better than me.
…doesn’t feel the need to tell me everything.
…is a democratic.
…enjoys setting off fireworks.
…has the ability to entertain herself.
…has a wide repertoire of funny faces.
…knows all the names of chess pieces.
…doesn’t snore.
…can sleep with the blinds open and/or the lights on.
…enjoys listening to the Oldies channel.
…drinks real coffee. (by “real” I meant not cappuccino, etc)
…knows a few dirty jokes.
…can bowl.
…enjoys cereals and pop-tarts.
…collects something (but not dolls).
…prefers the company of dogs to cats.
…has a green thumb.
…can balance a checkbook.
…doesn’t apply bumper stickers to her car.
…can swim well.
…can read a map.
…is un-embarrass-able.
…not too uninhibited. (seems to contradict the previous)
…is spontaneous.
…just self-conscious enough.
Funny…when I saw this I checked my list of what I wanted in a boyfriend, one of the items was:
Collects something (but not ducks)
Lisa got you! That’s hilarious.
“Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.” How’s the battle going?